Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I want Detroit

Tonight, I will be rooting for the San Jose Sharks to put Calgary away. There are a couple reasons for this, not the least of which is that the more Canadian franchises that are eliminated, the better. The one exception is the Montreal Canadiens, but that's because I make money every time they win, and Quebec isn't really part of Canadia anyway.

Most of all though, I want San Jose to win because that would mean Colorado gets the privilege of being the ones to send Detroit to the early tee time that everyone but Wings idiots knows is coming.

The Red Wings are the epitome of a paper tiger. The mediots love to fellate the Wings because of their record and history, but when you actually look at the team on the ice, instead of a cherry '64 GTO they make the team out to be, the team more closely resembles the rusted out '87 Mustang that most of their trailer trash fans drive to work...err...the unemployment office in. Just because you throw on new wiper blades and floormats and get a $99 Earl Schieb paint job done doesn't make your team into a muscle car.

The Wings have 2/3rds of a scoring line. They have nobody else who has any business on a scoring line in the NHL. They have ZERO scoring depth and NOBODY you can realistically count on at the forward spots for offensive production come playoff time other than Datsyuk, Zetterberg and Holmstrom. They have AWFUL goaltending. AWFUL. Hasek has been run out of town and now the Wings are pinning their hopes on Chris Osgood, a guy who was already run from Detroit once because he couldn't withstand playoff pressure.

This, my friends, is a team ripe for the pickings.

We've already beaten a one-line team. Quite handily, actually. The Wild are a better team than the Wings are, and they play better team defense (which is really saying something - the Wild are the ONLY team that plays better team defense than the Wings do).

So let's go San Jose! I want the Wings!

3 comments:

Red Wings - The Team that owns the Avs said...

LOLOLOLOLOL. All you pathetic Avs fans say you want detroit but I cant figure out why. You hvnt beat detroit in how many games? By the time they play im sure Foreskin will be hurt , per usual , the story of his career. pray for Calgary chumps its the only chance you have. I get no greater pleasure in life than watching the wings beat on the Avs, over and over and over. So sure bring ON THE AVS AND BRING OUT DA BROOMS.

Red Wings - The Team that owns the Avs said...

It seems more like we have a product of the air is to thin and my brain doesnt get enough oxygen.That would probably explain why the average IQ is 17 points lower in Denver than the National average.total series wins detroit 45 Colorado 23. Id call that owning.The Avs blow and so do you.Id love for you to come to my house bum . Planting a tire iron upside your inbred head would be great.Just because the air is so thin doesnt make it okay that your mom and sister are the same person.

Road Warrior said...

Awesome commentary, Thomas. Also noteworthy if you believe in cycles is that the Avs lost all four to the Wingz this season. Sakic was hurt, Smyth and Stastny played in two of those, and they were all pre-Forsberg and Foote.

Systems tend to seek balance, and four out of seven in this round would bring equilibrium.

Bookmarking your site. Good work.